Wednesday, April 27, 2011

How stupid can you be? Really?

Since I couldn't decide, I titled this blog with two questions.  It seems like lately I'm hearing some ridiculous stories of "dumb" criminal activity.  I mean really, how ridiculous can you be?!?

1. Bad decisions equal bad tattoos?  Lets take a look...


Ok so this guy's name is Anthony Garcia.  He is a member of a prominent gang in California.  What amazes me, is this guy had the "cojones" to not only get a ridiculously ugly tattoo on his chest.  But this ridiculous tattoo actually depicts IN DETAIL a murder that he committed!  Isn't like the number one rule of committing a crime NOT to leave any evidence behind?
"Each key detail was right there: the Christmas lights that lined the roof of the liquor store where 23-year-old John Juarez was gunned down, the direction his body fell, the bowed street lamp across the way and the street sign — all under the chilling banner of RIVERA KILLS, a reference to the gang Rivera-13."
Really?!?


2. Check out This Guy pictured below


His named Bruce Manlove <insert gay porn joke here>.  So one fine day, little old Bruce decides "hey, I think I'm going rob a 7-11!"  Great idea right?  Just walk in, hand the clerk a note that says "this is a robbery" get some cash, some cigs and be out.  Hell it might have even worked if he didn't write the robbery note on the back of his prison release paperwork!!  That's right, he robbed a store with a piece of paper that showed he got OUT of prison.....um, did you miss it that much?  I mean really.


3.  You left WHAT behind?


Picture this....  You come home one day, look around and realize "oh crap I've been robbed!"  What do you do? you get frantic, you call the police and you start looking around for what they took.  Imagine your surprise when the robber decided he wouldn't take all your stuff with nothing in return, oh gosh no, he wanted to bestow upon you his most precious gift of all!  A t-shirt with his mugshot on it that says "Making Money Is My Thang"  Oh, I'm sorry did you leave that t-shirt at my house?  No worries, I'll make sure the cops get it back to you.  Good grief.


4.  You thought THAT would be fun??  
Ok so this story is not technically a "crime" story though I do believe this person should be arrested for being so incredibly stoooopid.  A high school student on a field trip to the Golden Gate Bridge decided to jump off the bridge because quote he "thought it would be fun"  ummmm what??  What exactly would make you think that jumping off a bridge which has killed over 13,000 people, would be fun??  Seriously?  Incredibly he did survive with a broken tailbone, torn lung and bruising.  He's lucky he's not dead.  He gets the Darwin award on this one.

View more videos at: http://nbcbayarea.com.


5.  Oh no she didn't! 
Oh yes she did.  Michelle Astumian of San Luis Obispo in California was facing charges of forging prescriptions and writing bad checks.  Well Ms. Astumian clearly didn't understand the fact that she was NOT good at what she does because she showed up in court with a forged doctor's note asking for a postponement!  First? That takes serious balls.  Second? Really?!?  You are involved in a pending case of FORGERY.  Did you ever stop for just one itty bitty second and think "hmm, this might be a bad idea?"  no bueno lady....no bueno.


This is something that should be on "to catch a criminal" its so ridiculous.  FBI is always undercover trying to find disgusting perverts who are interested in sharing child pornography.  Well clearly some people are just THAT stupid and don't think about their screenames when performing said illegal acts.
image via thesmokinggun.com



And last but not least, this story brings bad parenting to a whole new low.



This lovely lady was visiting her boyfriend in jail and decided to bring him a little treat!  Hidden inside a newborn baby’s diaper, were 9 pills including Xanax and Suboxone.  Really lady?  First off, you're trying to smuggle drugs into a prison, second you're a mother who decides to use her baby to help her out.  I am deeply disturbed by this.  How much does your boyfriend, who is incarcerated, mean to you that you would stoop so low as to abuse your newborn baby (yes I believe using your baby for criminal activity constitutes abuse).  Really lady? Really?!?  Yep, you get the mother of the year award.


Are these people just really that stupid?  Can't they think of something more useful to do with their lives?  Maybe its just me...

*~kb*~

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Well that's just weird...

Seriously, there is some weird stuff out there.  Figured I'd collect a few things I've seen along the way and ask you? Is it just me? or is this stuff freaking weird?

1.  Really? A snowball maker?  Were your hands too tired to cup and hold snow to form a ball?  So tired that now you need your arm strength to squeeze handles together and make the "perfect" snowball??? wtf??  What happened to just having fun out there, throwing wads of snow and hoping they hit?  Has anyone bought this? I'd love to know if it works just out of sheer curiosity.



2.  Who doesn't love a good human skull?  Well ladies you're in luck! Now you can have a skull covered in your best friends!  A diamond skull yay!  Damien Hirst created this masterpiece called "For the Love of God."  Really? That's what you're going to call it?  Ok dude.  The "sculpture" consists of a platinum cast of a human skull with 8,601 flawless diamonds, including a pear-shaped pink diamond located in the forehead. Costing £14 million to produce, the work went on display with an asking price of £50 million or 82.8 million dollars! Wow!  So weird.



3.  Speaking of sparkly things, how'd you like a sparkly place to put your poo??  I'm taking about this fantastically bedazzled toilet!!  This Swarovski crystal studded toilet comes with a measly pricetag of $75,000!  You can literally crap on $75k!



4.  Feeling lonely?  I'll take weird bathroom furniture for $500 Alex.  Now you'll never have to leave your loved one again, even when you have to sit on the john.  Introducing his and her's toilets!!  Yes!  Now you can do your "business" together, isn't that fantastic??  After all, nothing says I love you like being able to withstand their stink with yours!  Order yours today...



5.  Want to smell like bacon? It is " Unquestionably, 'scent by the gods.'"  Seriously, this "elixir" is made up of essential oils meant to stimulate pleasant memories one would have about bacon.  Best part? I looked in the FAQ's section on their website and here is an actual question answered:
Question: Do these fragrances smell like bacon?
Answer: Yes and No. These are sophisticated aromas. There is a top, middle and bottom note. Both Bacōn Classic and Bacōn Gold are comprised of essential oils, herbs and the essence of bacon. The bacon is the bottom note. Hidden in just the right place. It's there alright, and the real fun's in finding it.



6.  Hooray for Pikachu!!  Who doesn't love the little Pokeman character, big and yellow, with red cheeks?!?  Oh but this one is a real kitten.  Someone ACTUALLY took the time to color this cat.  That poor thing, tortured into having its fur dyed and forced to look like the most adorable little creature to ever walk the planet!  Darn you cuteness!  So weird.



7.  How sweet, what a cute hat for your kid right?  Oh wait, its not just a hat, its a Thudguard!!  Protect your baby's brain with the thudguard.  


Ummm, no.  I'm not having my kid wear a helmet because I'm scared of a few bumps and bruises in the house are you kidding?  I understand wearing a bike helmet, or baby proofing a few things in the house like locking up cleaning materials etc, totally for it.  But I'm not going to have my baby walk around with this thing on in the house while its just normal play time.  I might as well move into a padded home with padded walls, no electrical outlets, no sharp corners, or anything that might come into contact with their head.  Good grief!  Kids are meant to get little bumps and bruises they'll be ok!! Ironically I did tell my toddler recently "I should put a helmet on that head of yours!" she's so clumsy but not enough to make her think she has to walk on egg shells all her life for fear of a little scrape.  Check out this video.  I'd be more concerned with the fact there's no gate by the stairs than him wearing a helmet. 





8.  And last but not least, the weirdest of the weird, I call this one:

This very weird teddy bear was designed by Alex Green (who? exactly).  What's so weird about this teddy bear you ask?  Oh only that its made out of human placenta!!!!!  WHAT??? Seriously?? This is what you think constitutes art?  Even worse, he's marketing it as an alternative to eating the baby's placenta and a new way for you to bond with your child.  Um no thanks.  I can think of wayyyyyyyyyyyyy more fun, not gross things to do to bond with my child than to have a teddy bear made from their placenta.  I mean really.  This guy has wayyyy too much time on his hands, and apparently placenta.  ew ew ew ew.


So freaking weird!!  But maybe its just me...
~*kb*~

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Really?!?

This edition of "is it just me" is dedicated to the word "really?"  "REALLY?!?"  Some ridiculous things I've come across, let me know what you think? am I crazy? Or is it just me?


So ok, really?  Really?!?  Now you get to smell like poop!  Yes, that's right. poop.  Right now on the market there is a perfume called "Surplus" by Jammie Nicholas that will leave you with the fresh stench of sh*t.  Please hold, I think I just threw up in my mouth.  <blech>  Basically Jammie Nicholas was inspired by this wonderful idea while reading the book "The History of Shit" by Dominique Laporte.  Laporte said "pleasant smells were used to cover bad smells, so it could be suggested that a bad smell could be used to cover pleasant smells."  The perfume has actually sold 25 of the 85 made!  So if you walk by someone who smells like sh*t, hey, they may just be wearing the designer perfume!  <blech>

GROSSSSS


Ok really??  There is a news story about a man in Wisconsin calling 911 because a couple strippers that he met at the strip club earlier didn't show up at his motel.  The strippers that he paid $1,000 for in lap dances "promised they'd stop by.  As if the emergency services team really has nothing better to do than to hunt down some strippers who didn't want to come to your motel to fulfill their "promise" of on the house lap dances.  Really?? Good grief.


Really Burger King?  Really?  Think you're so great that you feel you need to outdo yourselves and have now made a sandwich sure to kill millions.  Introducing the 1160-calorie Meat Monster! Yay! Now you can clog your arteries for less than $10 too!!! Whee!  As of right now its only been introduced in Japan (as what a way to make them feel better for all the hardship they've been dealing with recently?)  This sandwich is composed of 2 hamburgers, 1 grilled chicken breast, 3 slices of bacon, 3 slices of cheese, and 2290mg of sodium, hooray for bloating!  Seriously.  Good grief.



Really?  The Clark County prosecutor in Nevada, David Schubert, who was in charge of prosecuting celebrities such as Paris Hilton & Bruno Mars for their cocaine possession, got busted for....you guessed it....cocaine possession.  Idiot!  Oh and the best part is that he worked on the drug task force! (how convenient)  Really?  Did the irony of the situation make you think there's no way you'd get arrested?  Well you did buddy.  Good work.



Speaking of ironic situations, really?  Elena Ford, an heiress to the Ford Empire was recently charged with a DUI while she also had her 11 year old son in the car!   Elena blew a .14, nearly twice the legal limit.  Did I mention that she is also in charge of the marketing for Ford?  Hey you, lady, if you're ever that drunk again and feel like taking a drive?  Do me a favor and leave your kid at home, not his fault his lushy mama doesn't know what "don't drink and drive" means.  I mean really. 


Last but not least, the one that makes me the angriest.  Really??@?!@?@?

For anyone who didn't hear, last week a news story broke about a 15 month old boy that was accidentally served alcohol in his sippy-cup at an Applebee's restaurant.  Basically the kid was served what they THOUGHT was apple juice and it turned out to be margarita mix that was labeled incorrectly behind the bar.  Why they would serve anything in a sippy cup from behind a bar is beyond me.  They had to rush the kid to the hospital thankfully he was ok, though I wonder if this will have any lasting effect.  Now, a NEW story has just come out about a 2 year old that was served a "tropical sangria" instead of orange juice in a kids cup at an Olive Garden.  WTF people!!!  Doesn't anyone know how to check what they're serving??? Thankfully this 2 year old after going to the hospital was ok.  Really? really?!?  how many more of these stories are going to come out?  Lesson learned, I will now have to inspect every drink that comes to the table for my daughter before she drinks it.



I'd like to end on a positive note.  I wanted to you that my inspiration for this blog entry was based off a skit done on Saturday Night Live called "Really?!"  I think its HIGHlarious...but maybe its just me.  Enjoy.

~*kb*~

Sunday, April 10, 2011

You paid HOW much??

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if money was as easy to come by as a roll of toilet paper?  If you could literally wipe your butt with it and not blink an eye?  If that were the case, would you buy anything you wanted at any cost?  Would you think twice about how ridiculous the price tag is?  Clearly there are people in the world that don't because I can't understand why there is a market for things that just shouldn't cost what they do.  Is it just me?  I have to wonder if I was a gajillionaire, would I spend the money and think nothing of it?

Here are some things I found that I can't believe people actually are willing pay the price they're asking for.

Random Items:

1.  The Mystery Masterpiece - A pen.  Fancy name right? Should have a fancy name for that fancy pricetag it comes with.  Ready? $730,000!!!  AHHHH!!  Almost a million dollars for a pen!  Does it write in gold?  This limited edition pen was conjured up by Mont Blanc and Van Cleef & Arpel.  It is currently listed as the most expensive pen in the world.  The pen has 840 diamonds and more than 20 carats of gemstones.  It took them over 18 months to make this pen.  Would you do it? would you buy this pen if money were no object?  Could you even fathom spending that, on a PEN.  a PEN!!



2.  Pioneer Linens - Luxury Bed Linen, Designer Linens, Contemporary Bed Linens and Bath.  Ahhh, sounds nice right?  Sounds heavenly, luxury bed linens.  That's not what concerns me.  What concerns me is that they have for sale right now on their website a 24-carat gold plated toilet brush holder for a magical price of $575!  Umm, does that come with a brush too? sign me up!  Really?  You choose that  to plate in gold? The thing that holds what is probably the most germ filled item you may have in your house.  And people are buying it too!!  Is that to go with your gold toilet and gold bathtub?  Maaa, I want one too!



3. Models Own - A company based in London, Models Own sells make up and accessories.  Cute stuff, nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to pricing....oh well except one thing.  The worlds most expensive nail polish ever!  The "Gold Rush Couture" (not the polish but the bottle) was sold for £83,000 = approximately $136,000 US dollars!  For a nail polish BOTTLE.  This bottle was hand-crafted from yellow gold and has a total of 1,118 diamonds.  As the website states "an ideal gift for the woman who has everything!"  Umm yeah, you better have EVERYTHING if you're ok with spending that kind of money on a small nail polish bottle.



4.  Oscar Newman -Great website for pet owners! Who doesn't love their pet right?  Well you better love them like they're your flesh and blood if you're willing to spend the kind of money this website wants out of you! I understand people's want to dress up their pets.  Heck I think its cute.  What I don't think is cute is buying a dress (that comes with a bolero) for $103! Is it the bolero? Did that raise the price?  Best part is, you link to the doggy dress, and below it, makes suggestions of what could go well with it (of course).  So naturally why not buy those things too??  The below outfit, FOR YOUR DOG, includes a dress, bolero, a winter coat and matching necklace.  That comes to a retail price of $287.  Yay!



Baby Items:

1. Jacadi - This is a designer for baby clothes made in France.  Of course, they're cute and wonderfully made.  But I'm sorry, they are clothes for babies, of which they will spit, poop and pee on.  But you know what? You're right, I DO need a $100 baby romper!  Yes that's right, $100 for ONE romper.  Anyone who has children know, they aren't wearing it for longer than a month or 2 when they're that young, they will grow out of that faster than a prom dress comes off.  Do you think this is worth $100?



2.  Poshtots - Cute, upscale baby furniture.  Lovely of course, but would I pay $2600 for a bassinet???  Bassinets do not last you longer than maybe 3 months due to the weight limits.  I just can't fathom dropping $2600 on something that looks like a medieval torture device.



3. Armani Baby - Famous designer, beautiful clothing.  Probably would love to own a dress or two.  However, despite how rich I'd have to be to own Armani clothing, I don't think I could make myself pay $95 for a baby hat and booties.



4.  Jonathan Adler - As the website states "Happy Chic decorative home accessories & designer pottery."  Beautiful stuff, nice designs, great colors.  But what really got me was their "junior" section.  Was looking around at the furniture and found they had a "junior sofa" that ranges from $1750-$2200!  That is a JUNIOR sofa, meaning for your kids.  Umm...I'm pretty sure I didn't spend that on all of my furniture in my living room! (thanks Ikea).  How much money does one need to have in their bank account, that it would feel fine to pay $2200 for your KID'S couch?  Wow!



5.  Steiff Teddy Bears - Steiff is known around the world as the company that invented the teddy bear.  Awesome! Who didn't have a teddy bear growing up?  I sure did, and so does my daughter.  But I don't think, even if I had all the money in the world I'd buy the teddy bear shown below.  Cost?? $84,000!  I didn't have the comma in the wrong place, that is 84k for a teddy bear!  It was made as a limited edition bear for Steiff's 125th anniversary.  The bear has a mouth made of solid gold and fur made from gold thread.  Its eyes?  They have sapphire pupils and diamond irises.  WTF?  seriously.  How dumb would you feel if you bought that for your kid and it bit one of the eyes off and swallowed it?  They'd literally poop diamonds ha!





What do you think?  Would you buy some of these things if money were no object?  I'm not sure I can say "no" for certain.  Honestly I can't really fathom what it would be like to not think of money and not worry how its spent.  Do you think the Jersey Shore cast feels that way?  Maybe its just me.
~*kb*~

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Well THAT's inappropriate!

Is it just me? Has anyone ever watched what's considered "children's programming?" or "kids tv?"  I'm sorry, but some of it is definitely meant for adults!  On the plus side, if the kids are young, the jokes may just go right over their heads, but is it appropriate?  There have been so many instances that have slipped through the cracks, it amazes me more parents haven't taken serious action!  Personally, I'm not a prude so I really don't give a crap, I just need to make sure I watch some of these things before I decide to let my child see them.

So I did a little digging and found some funny (well I think its funny) examples of inappropriate images, dialogue, whatever you want to call it, that probably should not seen/heard by young eyes/ears.

1. The Little Mermaid, Disney 1989 - I know what you're thinking. What's wrong with the little Mermaid?  Well nothing so much wrong with the cartoon itself, its all about the cover art for the VHS tape (for those of us old enough to know what vhs is!)  Take a look for yourself?  See anything????



How about a close up??  See anything fabulous?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?

What were they thinking?? Rumor has it that it was the work of a disgruntled employee who thought he was going to be laid off and he decided to pay Disney back by sticking a freaking penis in the drawing!  Well it wasn't.  The truth is much less tawdry.  Really it was an artist (not hired by Disney) who worked countless hours and basically finished this artwork in the middle of the night and never even noticed that one of the towers looked like a pee-pee.  It wasn't until the VHS was released to the public that he was made aware and eventually after some complaints, Disney re-released the cover art.  Who doesn't love a good weenie in a Disney picture?


2. Spongebob Squarepants, Nickelodeon  - Oh Spongebob.  How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...  Anyone who's watched Spongebob knows, they love to throw in a good adult joke here and there.  Let's look at the facts: They live in Bikini Bottom, Mr. Krabs is a main character again in Bikini Bottom and there's a restaurant called The Krusty Krab (gross).  Well, among all the adult humor, the below clip is one of my favorites.  Our innocent little sponge friend was just watching a dancing sea anemone on TV to some saucy music, and what happens when his pet snail walks in?  He immediately changes the channel!!  Thus giving the innuendo that he was watching underwater PORN!  The young ones probably have no clue all the innuendo they just threw our way, but its fun for us adults.  Take a look for yourself and decide:




3. The Lion King, Disney 1994 - What a classic movie.  I personally loved it until I heard a little rumor!  Supposedly during one of the scenes, Simba lays down on a rock and some petals blow into the wind and it secretly spelled out the word SEX! Urban Legend? or Reality? Take a look at the picture and decide for yourself.  Personally I don't think it was done on purpose, but who knows.  It definitely is not as blatant as the "weenus" cover art.



4.  To Grandmother's House We Go, ABC television 1992 - This cute made for tv movie starred the Olsen twins back when they were still adorable and not looking like something that crawled out of a hole.  This particular scene has cause quite a stir and I'm asking my readers, Is it just me? or does this seem a little racist??  You decide.




5.  Rocko's Modern Life, Nickelodeon 1993 -  This show was on Nickelodeon/Nicktoons for 3 years and I remember it fondly.  Back when I watched it, I was but a wee teenager completely oblivious to the fact that this show was completely full of sexual innuendo and adult humor.  Rocko's favorite restaurant?  The Chokey Chicken!  They later changed it due to its double meaning of which I will not spell out for you.  The show has actually pulled a number of scenes due to its adult themes but later put them back in the dvd release.  Here's one of the all-time favorites scenes that has since been banned from the episode:



 WOW


Now is it just me? But why does Disney hate parents?  Did Walt grow up an orphan? Did he see his mother die or something?  Let's look at the evidence as to why there is something wrong w/Disney Films:

The Lion King - They kill off Simba's dad
Cinderella - dead parents, she has to live with a bunch of bitches
Finding Nemo - They kill off mom right in the beginning!
Bambi - Hunter kills Bambi's mom
Beauty and the Beast - Belle lives with dad, no mention of mom
Ariel - lives with dad, no mom
Lilo and Stich - Big sis and little sis, no parents
Mowgli from Jungle book - orphaned boy living in the jungle
Tarzan - orphaned boy raised in the jungle

Good grief!  I must admit, in researching this topic of adult themes/images with children's programming has peaked my interests to investigate further.  One thing is for sure, it has gotten better over the years.  If you look back in the early days of cartoons including disney films, there were soo many many racial undertones and adult themes such as smoking, drinking, etc that would not be allowed today.  Perhaps I'll save those for another entry.

What do you think?  Do you think some programming has gone too far?  Personally I think its pretty funny, but maybe its just me...

~*kb*~